I love littlesecret84. I love how she writes about love. I love that her expressions of love are so immediate and tactile. I love how her depiction of love is a force that should be embraced even if the circumstance is not perfect. The way she writes about love, is how I feel when in love.
This fic however, requires you to wear your big girl panties because this is no easy relationship and the Edward and Bella in this fic are not perfect examples of human beings. They are real people who have made mistakes and are bound to make more.
Lawyer Bella returns homes to Forks to study for the bar exam. Next door lives her long lost unrequited love Edward and and his wife, Rose. Bella feels she's been cheated out of having her great love because Edward left her to pursue a life with Rose and upon her return she basically sets out to seduce him back.
There is a back history here where Edward and Bella shared a very intense sexual relationship whilst on a holiday, when they were teenagers. However upon their return Bella feels that Edward dropped her like a hot stone to go back to Rose. It's not that simple though because Bella didn't exactly put herself out there to Edward and their lives then forked off into very different directions.
Eventually they do end up crossing that line and embark on a furious affair but...
I want to touch, kiss, lick, feel. Adore. I want to fuck him. I want to talk to him and feel beautiful and interesting, and I want to fall asleep to his voice. And when he asked me if I wanted kids? Just his. And if I had to be a wife, as stupid as it sounds given our situation, he's the only man I'd do that for. But I don't want this. I don't want a married man. A dishonest man. Maybe he's the cutest, and no one will be as warm, or familiar. Maybe he'll be the best I ever had. Best friend, best lover. Just best. But I can do so much better with my life. The magic moment has passed, that I know.
Bella is selfish and unsure and Edward well he is about the same. He feels inadequate in Bella's life and he's a man that's never really made the hard decisions in his life to get what he wants but that is the beauty of this fic. The flawed characters are real, who just try to feel their way through their lives the best way they can. It's not a story about epiphanies it's a story about making choices.